So yeah, been a while, hasn't it? You're looking - well. Don't say that, you don't look exactly the same as a month ago at all! You're ... taller, I'm sure.
Oh, the lily? I just remembered you like them ... I know they're my favourite, but you like them too, don't you? Really? You never told me that when we were ... fine.
Look, I know this is awkward. We haven't really communicated for so long, and even when we were it just wasn't like old days.
Remember that song by Carole King, It's Too Late? 'And it's too late, baby, now, it's too late - though we really did try to make it. Something inside has died, and I can't hide, and I just can't fake it?' That's kinda been playing in my head a lot lately. I don't know what's changed between us or why, I just know something has.
The thing is, it's not that I don't want to keep posting to you, blog. I do. I still have thoughts and opinions on what's going on in the world and you know you're always the first friend I tell them to. Stimulus, response, blog post. Stimulus, reponse, blog post. You understand me so well.
I don't know why we've lost touch. It really isn't you, it's me. There was a time when I would've raced to you first to share exciting news and developments as they filter into my consciousness. I could tell you all about my Europe trip, or Dima, the new boy I have a big crush on, or how Mel and Kochie's knock-off of 4 Minutes has got me seriously questioning why I actually bothered to return to Australia if this is what was waiting, all that stuff. But ... I dunno. I just don't feel that buzz anymore, y'know?
I know I've probably taken you for granted too long blog - and I don't like to think of my future without you in it in some capacity. I just think it's better if we stay friends for now. And you know, the best thing about quality friendships is you can let the channels of communication slide for days, months, even years - but that moment you finally get around to catching up, it feels like only yesterday that you were hanging out together. Quality time over quantity time and all that.
Please don't take it personally - I promise you we're not the only couple going through this. It happens to the best of bloggers/blogs. There's Dave & House - I think they're pretty much over now, and you know how tight they were once. Sam's pretty much dumped Culture for Junior (I don't see myself doing that with you though - I'm a one-blog guy). And the munkey and non-turtle have gone pretty quiet too. On the plus side, Ms C's back, and I know you've missed her, haven't you? Yeah, me too.
I just don't feel I can keep up anymore. It's like you want me to be a Jeremy or Jacob and just keep bashing them out to you, but you know deep down I've never really been that disciplined.
Oh, don't bring Facebook into this, this has nothing to do with him. Our relationship was cooling long before I met Face. I'm not dumping you for Face, we're just good friends, OK?
Look, I don't want to break up with you altogether, blog. I just need some space. I really hope you'll allow me to come visit sometimes as I know I'll get lonely and want your company. If that's too much like one-sided dependency for your liking, I understand and respect that.
See you soon blog, I hope. Miss you.