Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Why renting is a knut

(With nods, apologies and possibly royalties to Comic should she bring out the lawyers.)

  • $220 for removalists to move all QP's shit into bf's much nicer place: Tick.
  • $215 for cleaners to joan* it up so QP could get all the bond back for himself and ex-flatmate: Tick.
  • 2 full days including one off work to move into said nicer place where moving in is forbidden on weekends: Tick.
  • Sore back and arch of right foot: Tick.
  • Much satisfaction and pride despite aforementioned pain when last object was unpacked from last box and strategically placed in new location on Friday: Tick.
  • Ominous visit on following Saturday morning from owner of subject location and various accompanying family members, including very enthusiastic-looking daughter: Tick.
  • Comments heard on Saturday directed to said daughter including but not limited to 'Wow, you have a bathtub! (Unknown person) is going to be so jealous!' Tick.
  • 60-day notice period issued to QP and bf 2 days later on Monday evening: Tick.
  • Expensive 3.5 week Europe trip planned with return tickets purchased for a departure date of, oh, about 62 days from now? Tick.
  • Horrendous Sydney rental market with almost no properties available, such that those that are are overpriced, in poor condition and a shitfight to see/obtain long-term lease for? Tick.
  • Tears and womanesque sobbing from QP: Tick.

(*'Joaning': v To clean and in particular scrub maniacally until all surfaces are essentially reduced to air particles, in a style reminiscent of Faye Dunaway's portrayal of Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. 'Sheryll-Ann joaned and joaned incessantly as the face cream dripped from her cheekbones, the axe in grasping range, but knew deep down the surfaces would never truly be clean.')

Labels: , ,

6 Comments:

At 19/2/08 3:31 pm, OpenID zhasper.com said...

ouch.

 
At 19/2/08 3:42 pm, Blogger Sam said...

Yu'huh.

 
At 19/2/08 7:03 pm, Anonymous Peter said...

O.M.G.!

 
At 21/2/08 2:59 am, Blogger JahTeh said...

Poor Sam. Just email Britney, she's sure to have a spare trailer next to hers at the park.

 
At 21/2/08 1:03 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The perils of renting... or not finding a better boyfriend who owns his place!!

 
At 28/2/08 1:35 pm, Blogger Superdrewby said...

that just plain sucks...

maybe you could have the daughter kneecapped?

that would give you at least six months while she was in hospital and then rehabilitation?

 

Post a Comment

<< Home