Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Why renting is a knut

(With nods, apologies and possibly royalties to Comic should she bring out the lawyers.)

  • $220 for removalists to move all QP's shit into bf's much nicer place: Tick.
  • $215 for cleaners to joan* it up so QP could get all the bond back for himself and ex-flatmate: Tick.
  • 2 full days including one off work to move into said nicer place where moving in is forbidden on weekends: Tick.
  • Sore back and arch of right foot: Tick.
  • Much satisfaction and pride despite aforementioned pain when last object was unpacked from last box and strategically placed in new location on Friday: Tick.
  • Ominous visit on following Saturday morning from owner of subject location and various accompanying family members, including very enthusiastic-looking daughter: Tick.
  • Comments heard on Saturday directed to said daughter including but not limited to 'Wow, you have a bathtub! (Unknown person) is going to be so jealous!' Tick.
  • 60-day notice period issued to QP and bf 2 days later on Monday evening: Tick.
  • Expensive 3.5 week Europe trip planned with return tickets purchased for a departure date of, oh, about 62 days from now? Tick.
  • Horrendous Sydney rental market with almost no properties available, such that those that are are overpriced, in poor condition and a shitfight to see/obtain long-term lease for? Tick.
  • Tears and womanesque sobbing from QP: Tick.

(*'Joaning': v To clean and in particular scrub maniacally until all surfaces are essentially reduced to air particles, in a style reminiscent of Faye Dunaway's portrayal of Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. 'Sheryll-Ann joaned and joaned incessantly as the face cream dripped from her cheekbones, the axe in grasping range, but knew deep down the surfaces would never truly be clean.')

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At 19/2/08 3:31 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 19/2/08 3:42 pm, Blogger Sam said...


At 19/2/08 7:03 pm, Anonymous Peter said...


At 21/2/08 2:59 am, Blogger JahTeh said...

Poor Sam. Just email Britney, she's sure to have a spare trailer next to hers at the park.

At 21/2/08 1:03 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The perils of renting... or not finding a better boyfriend who owns his place!!

At 28/2/08 1:35 pm, Blogger Superdrewby said...

that just plain sucks...

maybe you could have the daughter kneecapped?

that would give you at least six months while she was in hospital and then rehabilitation?


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