Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Vale Sally Spectra

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Darlene Conley: 1935-2007

Sally Spectra has left us for the big fashion house in the sky. The boy and I are still grieving. When we first heard the tale-end of a report that a 72yo "Bold and the Beautiful" actress had passed away, our first thought naturally was that it was Katherine Kelly Lang (Brooke). What a tragedy to learn it was 'Our Sal' (a nickname I just invented for her and have otherwise never heard before nor plan to use again).

The official cause of death is listed as stomach cancer, but regular B&B viewers will know it's far more likely to have been that bizarre, short and irregular breathing Darlene would employ whilst delivering Sally's lines. Angry Sally, happy Sally, plotting Sally, grieving mother Sally - all sounded as though she were several hours into labour.

Darlene's hair, who has lived independently of Darlene for the last 20 years, is said to be devastated by the loss.

With Macy, Darla and now Sally gone, the Spectra family is pretty much non-existent - although the not entirely unfortunate-looking son CJ is due for a return. And what a void Sally will leave behind. Who will Stephanie throw into the Forrester pool now? Who will get drunk and cut off Stephanie's once-voluminous blonde locks? In short, who will now claim the title of LA's most glamorous drag queen?

Fare(*short breath*) well, Sal(*short breath*)ly. (*short breath*) You w(*short breath*)ill be (*short breath*) misse(*short breath*)d.


At 17/1/07 1:02 pm, Blogger skander said...

comepletely off topic, or slightly, as you're speaking of drag queens:

Did you manage to catch Janelle's scene in Scarlet Bar with Karl and Susan last night? The one where she wanted to make up with Suze because Lynnie's gone and Bree's too young and she wanted to talk about her hot cop (Ewww!).

"So if you'll forget that I tried to sue you, and I forget that you got the dates wrong with the paternity test, then everything will be great and I can reinstate you at number one on the favourite neighbours index...

It’s a bout a certain senior sergeant. Does he know the moves or what?...

Of course [Suze], you are going to have to tell me about Karl going beardy weirdy and Katya joining the jailbird house, but my story first. Buckle up kiddo. This is hot stuff."

Awesome stuff

At 17/1/07 1:14 pm, Blogger Sam said...

I did catch that moment skander, yes. Janelle will be missed. (I'm hoping the writers come up with a better exit strategy than massacring her, Stingray and Bree, Bishop-style.)

The "John Hanlon" who writes that sparkling banter is Shane Porteous, aka Dr Terrence Elliott, btw.

PS - Has Lyn gone for good? If so what a pissy exit! Are you meant to think she's now 'indefinitely' on her solo honeymoon? I know they wrote Marlene out on a holiday cruise that's now lasted over 11 years but I thought Lyn deserved an old-fashioned, mass gathering on the cul-de-sac send-off.

At 17/1/07 5:41 pm, Anonymous Adrian Phoon said...

RIP Sally, a husky-voiced siren if ever there was one. I thought she was irreplaceable, like Brooke's tear ducts. B&B actors all seem immortal; they simply slough off saggy bits of their skin in their monthly nip n' tucks, and plough on. That's my only explanation for why the guy who used to be Dr. Peter Burns from Melrose is playing son to a woman who looks about 10 years younger than him.

At 17/1/07 8:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes a fond farewell to the Grand Dame of the Spectra Empire. Many an afternoon was spent in the uni bar watching Sally and Stephanie go at each other as only two burly men wearing frocks can! I assume she was written out some time ago as I havent seen her on the show in gayes and gayes. Then again I only get to see it once in a blue moon these days.

As for Janelle Timmins nothing will beat the following interchange from Friday:
Steiger: "You like pig shooting?"
Janelle: "Are you kidding? When I was young I was nearly on the cover of Playboar."
Give me a witty bogan one-liner over "Will Sally survive?" any day!

I dont expect Lynnie will make any return appearances. I suspect Steph will get a call at some point announcing Lynnies holiday has become permanent. Would love a reunion with Joe S even if it is off-screen. Chris

At 18/1/07 9:53 am, Anonymous cheesymae said...

i am really sad darlene has died. sally spectra was a great character and no one who saw her and stephanie do battle, or sally dressed as madonna (conical breasts) to re-seduce clark or sally in lycra on an exercise bike to get fit, or the quivering that happened to her entire being from hair to bust when emoting will ever forget her. cast as the comic foil to stephanie, as sally got bigger so did her hair. RIP. What a sad day for Bold

At 18/1/07 12:50 pm, Blogger skander said...

Ah, poor old Lynnie. Without wanting to cast any nasturtiums, I feel the "producers" had wanted to see the tail end of Janet Andrewartha for a while. If you read any of the Shane Connor trial stuff, she didn't come across too well... and Shane won the case. I suspect they had been biding Lynnie's time until Janet's contract finally expired, hence the notable absence of Valda and Henry (who both got better 'farewells' than Lynnie did).

So Lynnie is off to the Maldives with Oscar, and then on to New York to see all of her greecard-free family, Flick, Shell, Jack and Nina (why bother?), at which point Steph will, with her arm loving draped over the Toad, announce to Susan and Janelle that "Mum's decided to stay on in New York for a while." Maybe even "move down the coast to Shelly Beach with Valda and Aunty Doreen", but the second of those two options seems like too much continuity for the people who plot this programme.

At least they are well aware of Marlene's endless cruise, having her reappear on a boat in the (spectacularly crapola) 20th anniversary episode.

At 18/1/07 1:05 pm, Blogger Sam said...

Adrian: LOL - How masterfully put :)

I've always thought of Lesley-Ann Down as the poor fag's Joan Collins. Which is no recommendation, as I've always thought of Joan Collins as the very poor fag's Liz Taylor. Go figure.

At 18/1/07 8:25 pm, Blogger JahTeh said...

I see a wonderful storyline coming up. Ridge is responsible for Sally's death and is in such distress takes to wearing her hair and clothes and running a frock shop.

At 19/1/07 8:07 pm, Blogger comicstriphero said...

That's the funniest obit-type piece of writing ev-uh.

At 20/1/07 1:29 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

last night i was all sad and i couldn't sleep.

cos sandra sully from ten late news told me sally spectra had crossed over.

she was like a nana to me. And a twin sister to candy. (should you ever see this, you know I'm joking candy)

I first saw Sally as a nineteen year old, fresh from dropping out of my first university degree, and just after i started the next one i was going to drop out of. good times, good times.

I was an unsure, unaware, outwardly overconfident, yet inwardly sh!t scared young man, albeit with a winning smile and happy feet, standing on the edge of my tomorrow.

She gave me inspiration. She gave me hope. She showed me how to walk with my shoulders square. Through the wind. Through the rain.

But most of all she gave me something to look forward to on those lost sultry afternoons when i was thru with exploring what 19 year olds explore, and needed a haven safe from harm.

Time Moves By. So Slowly. But sometimes so quickly.

I know she would be proud of what I've become. Of how I have lived my life so far. And how i try not to drink once the sun is up.

She would have wanted it no other way..

i think we need to organise our own little wake, in her honour.

maybe we could get trixie (drag queen from the Beat Megaclub in brisbane, australia) to make a cameo appearance and do her best sally spectra impersonation, in one of her 'Spectra Fashions' knock offs. I'm thinking the one with the big red feathers framing her face and the gold lame cape that hangs just below the knee, and billows just so, when she does the trixie glide across the dancefloor. With her hair especially died, sorry dyed, red for the night. and all bouffant and stuff.... with body glitter and bindi irwin's croc men as her dancing boys.

sorry.. got carried away...

at the very least, in her memory, and i think she would appreciate this, we should all celebrate her life and talk real husky for a day. Just like Sally Spectra talked.

sally would have liked that.

RIP Sally Spectra. May your husk live on forever.

bris, aust.

At 21/1/07 11:06 am, Blogger Brownie said...

Hi Happy Feet - JahTeh mentioned to me that over at LaughAtUs Prodeo there is a discussion about those dreadful boots camps that hammer bent kids till they are straight (and dead), and I said to her that Pengy covered that a year ago.
I cannot trawl your archives because I have the attention span of a canary but if you visit Copperwitch she has the link in a post.
It is another terrible case of hypocrisy by Christians.

At 10/12/08 9:12 pm, Blogger Mina Jade said...

Such a disgusting post, make fun of women's age, and even such sad events. Do you really believe you wrote something to laugh about?! I dare say it is not funny but very stupid.

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