Monday, September 04, 2006

QP Call to Arms: Recruit the Hotties Before God Does!

Long-time QP readers will remember my short-lived RSPCDan campaign, in which I implored us all to save the tremendously pretty Dan O'Connor from fundie clutches.
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Then I watched him for about 40 seconds on Gaybours and decided the Clappers could keep him. He's so god-awful (ha-ha), I feel compelled to snort Ajax through a $5 note whenever he's on screen.

But this - this is beyond cruel. This is just sadistic:

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Yes, he's the next brainwashed fundie Idol hottie, Dean Geyer (*image kindly ripped off from Sam #2).

The evil geniuses at Fundie Marketing HR are nothing if not canny. For a pack of sanctimonious abstinence-preachers, they sure understand the adage that sex sells. Would you buy a CD if this were on the cover, without even bothering to listen to the lyrical dogma first? Thought so.

What I want to know is, though, what do they have that we homos don't? How do they keep nailing these impossibly hot men? Is it because they begin the brainwashing process at a young, impressionable age? Is it because of the opportunities for hot male singers to have their recording voice heard by thousands via the Hillsong CD empire?

I only wish the skills of fags to "recruit" were as effective as we're accused of. I bow in genuine reverence to the truly skilled recuiters - you guys outdo yourselves at every turn.

But remember: Denying the abovementioned the chance to pleasure others is as much an affront to fags as it is straight women. So I implore all of us to pay closer attention, and get to the blossoming art works of nature before Jesus can.

After all, there are plenty of other ways to bring a boy closer to God...

8 Comments:

At 4/9/06 2:31 pm, Blogger JahTeh said...

Jebus, Sam I shortcircuited the keyboard with drool. That's gorgeous, never mind the CD, I'd buy toilet paper with him on it. I may even give up my vow of abstinence. I may even give up my vow of never paying for it.

Thank God for you, dear Sam, I have to see my ex tomorrow so I'm taking this vision with me.

 
At 4/9/06 6:17 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I assume Dean-o like most happy-clappers is also a virgin so what im about to say is predicated on that.

Call me cynical but I always feel suss about men who look like that and yet deliberately deny themselves the pleasures of the flesh. It makes one wonder whether they are just using the "wait until marriage" thing to conveniently avoid facing up to a certain reality.

I wish I were making this up but a Christian girl i know had her husband leave her for another man followed by a fiance breaking off their engagement because he knew he was gay. Guess where she met them both...Hillsong! And funnily enough they were both quite happy to "wait" until marriage.

Maybe Dean is not such a case but Im sure there are quite a few out there.

As I said, call me cynical....CW

 
At 5/9/06 1:49 am, Blogger Miss Ember said...

I actually think Jesse Spencer, apparently ex-Neighbours(?), is rather a spiffing looking chap, if pouty, flouncy-haired private school boys are one's thing.

I espied his golden locks in House, in which the ruggedly handsome Hugh Laurie quite titillated me, despite his playing a cantankerous git.

Here Jesse looks rather like Leonardo Di Caprio throwing a tanty over who got to fag him in the little boys' room.

http://www.jessespencer.com/

 
At 5/9/06 3:33 pm, Blogger Sam said...

Just weeks ago you were complaining that there were no hot right-wing commentators! Perhaps these young Christians will grow up to fill those roles?

 
At 5/9/06 4:40 pm, Blogger Sam said...

That'll always be the dream, I s'pose...

 
At 5/9/06 5:09 pm, Anonymous Bazza said...

Another muscle Mary fundie!
Does he give 10% of his income to the beloved!

 
At 6/9/06 9:14 pm, Blogger "AK" Adam said...

Yikes, he is incredible, and on Aus Idol you say?

I couldn't agree more; religious belief is for the ugly.

 
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