Friday, September 02, 2005

Save Dan!


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And so I hereby found RSPCD, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dan.

OK, first things first - who is Dan? He's Dan O'Connor, an Oz Idol season 2 runner-up who last night made his debut appearance in Neighbours as Stu's brother - wearing, naturally, as little clothing as can be allowed at the 6:30pm timeslot:


danoc2.jpg

And from what cruelty is RSPCD determined to save him?

Dan has fallen prey to an evil cult calling itself the "Christian City Church", and "recently co-hosted a gospel concert by the rock band Third Day."

OK, so it's not the most evil cult of all, Hill$ong, but we're assured it's "similar".

Dan of course inflicts cruelty as he suffers it. Could he have been any crueller when he told us on Oz Idol that he was straight? Yes, when he went on to tell us that he was a sunbeam for JC, THEN telling us he's still a virgin who's saving himself for marriage. (So no fellatio involved at all to score a role on Neighbours? That'd be a first, I suppose. Unless, of course, the action took place on Jan Russ' casting couch...And there goes the last lingering threat of my hunger for the rest of the day.)

But Dan knows not how cruel it is to humanity that something so beautiful should be so inaccessible and so corrupted by sinful, perverse influences such as evangelicalism.

So I implore all self-respecting gay men to sign up quick to RSPCD so that we can save this gorgeous little sparrow with broken wings from himself.

10 Comments:

At 2/9/05 2:54 pm, Blogger The Alien said...

Dear Alien,
I woke up one day and all the best celebrity positions were taken.

dearalien.blogspot.com

 
At 2/9/05 6:27 pm, Blogger mikey said...

Dan does moisten my undies, but religious extremism is such a turn-off and I fail to see why a virgin would need a nipple ring, or is he just a vagina virgin like I suspect he is?

Christian City Church is as dodgy as the day is long. My dad had business dealings with the guy who started it, which all turned to shit because the guy was all smoke and mirrors. The guy wasn't a g-d squadder back then either (or as much as my dad could tell).

 
At 2/9/05 11:14 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Goddie Porn. JT

 
At 3/9/05 3:04 am, Blogger semaphore junction said...

Oh my ummmm, hmmmm yes I saw a picture of him in today's Herald Sun and well umm as soon as I regain my concentration he can then leave his shoes under my bed, that's if I removed the chains from his wrists and legs.

 
At 3/9/05 9:45 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone else remember who Dan shared a bedroom with when he was in the Idol house (for about 2 weeks) last year? Yep, it was none other than that infamous skirt-chasing, red-blooded hetero Anthony Callea!!!!

It stuck in my head at the time cause I remember thinking they were both cute and they both set off my gaydar a bit so when I saw that they were sharing a bedroom I became even more suss ... as well as having some other thoughts which dont need to be shared here!

Then of course Dan came out as a pulpit-humper and Ant as a girl-humper and well...sigh...

 
At 4/9/05 12:12 pm, Blogger Dawei said...

Are you all crazy?

HE'S HIDEOUS! HEEEEEDIOUS!

Let alone the God bothering, boyfriend is fug. And what's with that gay-ass hair? And have you heard him "recite" his lines? Mon Dieu.

 
At 8/9/05 2:36 pm, Anonymous mindlessmunkey said...

As "undie-moistening" as Dan might be, he is unfortunately the worst actor to grace Ramsay St since Luka. *shudder*

However, take heart ~ my best friend is one of the creative team behind the show... and assures me that the writers will be distracting us from his apalling performance by getting him as naked as possible, as often as possible.

Huzzah!

 
At 28/2/07 10:40 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sushi say 'I like Pink and anything goes in a cave'

 
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