Monday, September 19, 2005

Step Away from the Penguin

I have gone to lengths to celebrate the queerness of penguins and their quiet resistance to sexual oppression, so I don't much care for conservatives high-jacking the faggy little birds and claiming them as models of their own warped perception of reality.

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Twink penguin bracing himself for a "visit from Daddy".

How dare they re-name March of the Penguins "The Passion of the Penguins"? Any self-respecting penguin would gouge out Mel Gibson's eyes with his or her beak and feast on the gooey goodness.

The filmmakers at least don't sound like born-agains to me:

"It's obvious that global warming has an impact on the reproduction of the penguins," Luc Jacquet, the director, told National Geographic Online. "But much of public opinion appears insensitive to the dangers of global warming. We have to find other ways to communicate to people about it, not just lecture them."

Environmental conscience? Promoting open channels of communication instead of self-righteous sermonising? All very un-Right so far.

The painfully obvious correlation here that these conservatives are trying to avoid is that penguins extol their ideals of monogamy, sacrifice and child-rearing - and given that penguins are an especially queer breed of animal, queer sexuality is in fact conducive, not anathema, to monogamy, sacrifice and child-rearing.

The Sun-Herald rather unhelpfully throws in a conspiracy theory - "...the concealment of Sydney's fairy penguin colony begins to take on a more sinister aspect. The word conspiracy is too frequently bandied about, but it must be said that keeping the penguins hidden does favour a left-liberal, humanistic world view."

Wrong. In fact, concealing fairy penguins favours an anti-queer world view. The editorial's warning against modelling parental upbringing on penguins - Readers should be aware, however, that carrying their young on their feet to keep them warm may be seen by some as child abuse - is more useful.

Also: stick with the Heinz baby food instead of regurgitation for the little ones. Now that's good parenting!


At 19/9/05 5:41 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most penguins make brilliant parents but some are like religious nutbags, if the chicks are a little different they will walk away and let them die. Fortunately they're in the minority and the other penguins groups are very tolerant and haven't stoned them yet. JT

At 20/9/05 6:45 pm, Blogger Nic White said...

Huh? Theres only like two know homosexual penguins, since when did they become pin-ups for the gay cause?

At 20/9/05 6:48 pm, Blogger Nic White said...

Only person talking sense in the whole thing:

"A vice-president of Warner Independent, Laura Kim, said: "You know what? They're just birds.""

At 21/9/05 9:13 am, Blogger Sam said...

God will judge you for this blasphemy Nic, not me.

At 21/9/05 9:19 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sam, let's tie Nic's feet together, pin his arms to his sides, shove 5kgs of fish down his throat, drop him off at the edge of the ice sheet, let him shuffle 100kms in a snow storm and then watch him spend a few hours upchucking the family meal. This is not some wussy canary Nic, this is the SAS of birds.

At 21/9/05 7:30 pm, Anonymous kate said...

it's not just penguins, a friend of mine had two doves, called Rex and Reg, who had a long and intimate relationship. they also raised a pidgeon together after sharing the task of sitting on the egg.

the pidgeon eventually got bigger than his dads and (ungrateful little bastard) started pecking at them.

there are, incidently, lots of queer animals (not just birds) and they are very well documented.

At 22/9/05 10:01 am, Blogger Cracklypork said...

In other news, one of New York's more famous gay couple, Roy and Silo (chinstrap penguins at the New York Central Park zoo) have split up after 6 years. Apparently Silo, the two-timing bastard, has moved in with a young female penguin appropriately named "Scrappy".

At 22/9/05 12:25 pm, Blogger Sam said...

What a dirty bird, as Annie (Kathy Bates in Misery) would say. Perhaps we should deal with this vixen in the same manner, too.

*gets sledgehammer and slab of wood*

At 22/9/05 12:29 pm, Anonymous Harley said...

At least we still have Wenddell and [Butch] Cass

At 23/9/05 11:49 am, Blogger Jeremy said...

Can I just say, I've seen the film and the baby penguins are adorable. They're little pear-shaped balls of grey fluff with a tiny head, and they do this sort of comical waddle/fall-down thing which is hilarious.

Oh, and the christian fundamentalists who think the penguins are a "nuclear family unit" or something didn't watch very closely. The penguins are monogamous FOR ONE SEASON ONLY. Then they never see each other again.

Also, if one mother gets back with food and finds that her baby has died, but that another is alive but its mother has been killed, she certainly won't help the motherless chick.

And if a predator is coming for someone else's chick, they'll let it get eaten.

At 23/9/05 5:39 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somehow those last two sentences in Mr Lefty's comment brought Bronwyn Bishop and Amanda Vanstone to mind. JT


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