The Adventures of QueerPenguin

Penguin Heterosexism

As a vocal advocate for the rights of same-sex attracted penguins, I could not let this article, "Zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight", go by. Highlights:

"Director Heike Kueck said that the zoo hoped to see some baby penguins in the coming months. She said that the birds had been mating for years and one couple even adopted a stone that they protected like an egg."

Once again it's demonstrated that biological restrictions are no impediment to the strong desire of God's queer creatures to want to create and nurture family.

"But introducing the Bremerhaven penguins to their new Swedish friends may not be as successful as hoped after earlier experiments revealed great difficulties in separating homosexual couples."

No doubt Exodus International, the group designed to cure homosexuality through prayer, will need to establish a subsidiary whose primary focus is on the sad, Godless lives of the homosexual flightless bird.

In case they show no interest, the zoo has also flown in two new male penguins "so that the ladies don't miss out altogether", Kueck added.

Pffft. If porn has taught us anything, it's that all "straight" men are merely latent homosexuals whose true desires emerge when seduced by two gay mechanics for a hot three-way in the garage. I'm sure the penguin kingdom is no different and the poor ladies will just have to keep waiting.

PS - Trust these sorts of shenanigans to happen in Sweden where queer sexuality is embraced. Australia would do well to improve on its dwindling migrant penguin population by promoting itself as a more queer penguin-friendly nation.

posted by Sam @ Thursday, February 10, 2005