Tuesday, November 08, 2005


So I'll come out of the Gaydar closet - yes, I have a profile, yes, sometimes I chat in the chat rooms and yes, I recently paid actual money to become a member. Judge, condemn and snigger at will.

Finished? Good. Feel better? Fab.

I received this message from a chap in Manchester saying he was going to give me 10 votes in the Gaydar Sex Factor competition. To summarise (for those who do not or pretend not to use Gaydar): You put a photo up in one of the various categories (18-21 y.o, 21+, muscle, punk, skindhead, etc) and people vote. You can either skip the person altogether if they do nothing for you, give them a "Tick" rating (anywhere between 1-6), a "Star" rating (7-8) or a "Hot flame" rating (9-10). Within a certain period, votes are tabulated and averaged, and the winners earn the pride of, umm...winning. Or finishing in the Top 10, which you can include in your profile. As it's an international competition, previous Top-10ers, particularly in the muscle categories, can be quite woofalicious.

As an old man, I'm currently residing in the 21+ category until the time comes when I can see the lines of my "six-pack" in something other than really, really good lighting, then it's defection to muscle town.

Anyway, I thanked this guy and thought it would be rude not to reciprocate a vote, even though I didn't find him the slightest bit attractive. In fact most people who've voted for me aren't the sort of men I get excited about, which in its own way can be a little depressing, especially when the median age of said voters is around 43.

So I gave this guy a vote within the "Tick" range - 4 - not realising you are apparently able to find out at the other end the specific number of votes that have been given to you (I just assumed he'd think I'd given him a 6 and we would have parted ways).

The next message to pop up from Manchester:

"Ungratefull (sic) ugly tosser!!! How dare ya!!"

And then I was banned from any future correspondence with this gentleman.

Gar? Was I meant to just not vote at all, ie give the guy a zero? And how did I go from "flame" to "ugly" so quickly?!

Moral of the story: No good deed goes unpunished.

Other moral of the story: Maybe use Gaydar less.


At 8/11/05 4:39 pm, Anonymous weezil said...

Hell hath no fury, Sam. Don't worry mate, you still get a tick of approval from the not real aesthetically aware but endlessly supportive straight male blogger camp. ;)

At 8/11/05 4:56 pm, Blogger Ron said...


How can you be a straight male blogger [and] camp?

Oh ... you didn't leave out an 'and'. ;-)

At 8/11/05 4:58 pm, Blogger Sam said...


Str8 men are always so much less of a headfuck too. Except for all the "metros" in my neighbourhood. But then I think they all take themselves way too seriously to have their own blogs!

At 8/11/05 8:11 pm, Blogger JahTeh said...

You'll have to do something about your penchant for seedy men.

And what Weez said but female.

Does that make me a blog hag?

At 9/11/05 9:29 am, Anonymous morgan said...


It could be worse. I was talking with a friend about alternatives to Gaydar a couple of weeks back (we're both members) (perhaps I should point out that we didn't meet on Gaydar) and he came out with the following suggestion:

It _could_ just be that I can't get the word "sugar" out of my mind, or that, even in my late 30s, I can't see how I fit into the mould, but I think I'll stay with Gaydar. And avoid the voting.

At 9/11/05 10:35 am, Anonymous Auntie Aggie said...

Sam what have I told you about those chat rooms, there full of strange people who are only after your body.

At 9/11/05 11:23 am, Blogger Sam said...

I don't think that's entirely the case AA - in my experience there's a lot of very normal, functional people on Gaydar too who occasionally appreciate a medium other than foam parties and food/wine festivals and other queer hotbeds for meeting homos.

At 9/11/05 4:10 pm, Anonymous weezil said...

Ron, I would not dare attempt to be campy over here in the straight male blogger camp, or anywhere else for that matter. It's kinda like an American trying to put on an Aussie accent in Sydney, mayt. Transparent as. Those in the know would simply roll their eyes at me. :D

At 10/11/05 1:44 pm, Blogger Sam said...

That was a really great education about Gaydar, a site I knew absolutely nothing about, having never been there, ever. Ahem.

At 10/11/05 4:50 pm, Blogger Sam said...

Wow Sam, you've never used Gaydar. Yet another thing we have in common!

Oh, wait...

*hides this posting*

Another thing we have in common! Yay!

At 13/11/05 7:01 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

silverdaddies, wrong.. so very very wrong. I know we all get old but no.

www.bigmuscle.com hours of pervy fun for everyone over the age of 18.

At 13/11/05 7:01 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

silverdaddies, wrong.. so very very wrong. I know we all get old but no.

www.bigmuscle.com hours of pervy fun for everyone over the age of 18.


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