The Adventures of QueerPenguin

Premier Iemma, He's the Member for Lakemba

(Please note: The following post has nothing to do with Premier Iemma, the Member for Lakemba. I've just had the Macarena in my head for the last few days with these "lyrics" substituted. Premier Iemma, he's the Member for Lakemba. Heyyy, Premi-Iemma!!)

Poor J-Ho, now it's not just vegie-lesbians questioning your authoritah. As if pesky backbenchers agitating for such Commo pipe dreams like humanity weren't bad enough, you must contend with your own Coalition underlings resisting the unnecessary sale of Telstra, as well as former General Cosgrove - remember, John, the man you said "assumed a leading role in Australia's involvement in the war against terrorism, most particularly in the missions in Afghanistan and Iraq," whose "military and strategic advice during his term as CDF, a particularly active period for the Australian Defence Force, has been invaluable" and who "carried out all of his duties in a spirit which befits the proud traditions of the Australian military" - telling us what we knew all along, that our continued presence in Iraq is making us an increased terrorist target. AND, now the head cheerleaders of your usual rent-a-cheer squads at the Catholic and Anglican HQs are joining the growing disquiet over your IR "reforms".

Shit, John. That's a lot of people for you and your spin doctors to discredit. Where on earth will you start? Well, the churches are easy enough. You can always delegate the "churches should keep their nose out of things they don't understand (translated - things they don't agree with)" duties - Leckie's always champing at the bit for that sort of rubbishing. And then of course, when you need them on-side again - for, say, a ban on gays adopting children - all can be forgiven soon enough.

But Cosgrove? Going after a military hero is very dangerous, thanks to the current climate of defence hysteria you have helped to create in which soldiers are almost on par with AFL players in God-like stature.

I have a hunch the remainder of Telstra will eventually be sold, somehow, and as with the GST, once implemented its damaging effects will be glossed over with the help of the Murdoch machine, and fury over the inevitable dumping of market-redundant rural services should have subsided to a dull roar by the time the election rolls over.

But the IR "reforms", that's going to be tricky. For the first time in years, the increasingly neutered unions are starting to show teeth again, and with the backing of all the major churches (even Brian and Bobbie over at Hillsong aren't automatically biting the pillow and taking it from you on this one), this will be an enemy you can ignore only at your peril.

(As an aside - I don't enjoy labelling unions as neutered or redundant, even though I believe this is the case. I refused to join the deeply homophobic Shop, Distributive and Allied Employees' Association during my time in retail, for obvious reasons, but as a rule I'm usually quick to sign up to any workforce where unions have a presence - ie, not legal publishing.)

So what to do, John? Let's say, for argument's sake, that the IR "reforms" you would like to implement - the utter annihilation of collective bargaining, fundamental worker rights and union solidarity, that wet dream that has fuelled your petit body and poorly-plucked eyebrows for so many many years - are given the label that now haunts you in your nightmares (I mean apart from Jeanette and the kids finding out about you schtooping Pru Goward***): Electorally Unpopular. The pendulum swings to the ALP, even in the Newspoll surveys.

What then? Do you resort to your usual style, the one that has kept you in 7 years longer than your expiry date, of "I might lose one vote on this, I better totally change my stance and appease those capricious swinging voters in Blacktown that now like me by saying and doing exactly what they want to hear and see, even if it's in blatant contradiction to any principles and policies I have previously established"? Or, do you in fact stay firm to your wet dream, put your prime ministership on the line for it, in fact, and go down in history as a PM who remained true to one - just one - guiding belief?

I will watch with interest this battle between Howard's well-trained gutter rat instinct for survival and his desire to see trade unions destroyed at all costs. Of course, as with all his most malevolent policies, it will all be in the marketing. If he can delude the electorate that these "reforms" are less about union decimation and more about The Individual merely taking greater control of His career destiny (I use the gender-specific pronoun as we all know the wife should and now will have to be at home, as only barren women and lesbians have career ambitions, right John?), then said Individual will once again vote for another three years of Howard golden showers.

Heyyyy, Premi-Iemma!! Have you got it in your head now? Good.

*** - Disclaimer - yeah, yeah, yeah, ALLEGED schtooping. Whatever.

posted by Sam @ Monday, August 08, 2005