Thursday, July 21, 2005

Food, Glorious Food

The inventor of TV dinners has died, aged 83.

I must have failed one key subject of Homo 101: cooking. I can dress well on a low budget, appreciate fine minimalist interior decorating when I see it, know the prices and location of most of the inner-city Sydney gyms and I've just finished a Felice Picano novel, but unlike most of my sorority I will struggle with gazpacho, potato croquettes or anything that involves a reduction. It's my secret shame that's often kept me at the fringe of true homosexualism - that and the fact that I can't afford the Clinique men's skin care line.

However, since I returned from Europe I've been struck by the culinary equivalent of Cupid's arrow and am feeling this bizarre urge to cook when I return home of an evening. Perhaps it was all the airline food I had to eat - and indeeed Thomas claimed that the inspiration for TV dinners "came when he was visiting a distributor, spotted a metal tray and was told it was developed for an experiment in preparation of hot meals on airliners" - but now the thought of every second night tucking into a Lean Cuisine lasagne suddenly doesn't make my mouth water. Not that pre-packaged nuked food ever really did, but my tolerance for it seems to have vanished and been replaced by a desire for fresh and, heaven forbid, nutritious food. I will, however, re-assess this born-again Cookianity should an expanding waistline result.

It will still be a while before I'm hosting Ted Allen-esque dinner parties, especially while I'm still living in an apartment where the presence of more than 4 people at the same time can cause literal friction, but I had practice cooking for a friend and my flatmate - at the same time, no less - on the weekend and unlike previous occasions, it didn't end in tears, heartbreak and burnt rice.

I may yet receive full my initiation into Alpha Fagga sorority house...


At 22/7/05 12:11 am, Blogger Jhuny said...

Good luck in your quest to become the complete homosexual. I, too, hope to embark on a similar adventure through my kitchen and I may even, gasp, USE THE OVEN!

At 24/7/05 4:31 pm, Anonymous Zhasper said...

I was well on my way to mastery of the kitchen..

Well, no, not really, but I'd taken the first tottering steps at least.. then I moved into a kitchen with eletrickery on the stovetop.

It's not possible to cook on an electric stovetop at all, so I've now given up trying...

One of these days, I'm going to move into Le Dream Residence, which will allow me to:

* Have rats
* Have a fishtank in a central visible location
* Cook

At 27/7/05 4:29 am, Anonymous Rach said...

I'm so proud! Granted, I only really ever mangaged to make baked goods that previously resided in a box or packet, but still. Well done you! Does this mean I can expect a 4-course meal when I come to visit?


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