The Adventures of QueerPenguin

P - R! We - PR...Things! Concepts! Happenings! Horny Corny!

Having a PR partner has its advantages - for example, scoring tickets to Saturday's Make-a-Wish Ball at Luna Park. Ironically, I haven't had an occasion to don the penguin suit for years, so playing dress-ups was fun.


The best bit for me though - and the reason why I'm blogging about it - was the chance to experience a magical moment in Aussie soap B-list history. You see, my table was next to the 'celeb' table, featuring Homo & Gay's 'superstars'...like the dude who plays Lucas, Lucas' dad, umm, Peter...and the chick who was on Blue Heelers, just finished a stint as Dr Evil on Gaybores and is now playing the guy with the hot body's mum - presumably she gave birth to him when she was 4. (I'm genuinely ignorant of H&G actor names - proud Gaybores tragic only).

And...the great Cornelia Frances.

No hyperbole, Cornelia has been in possibly every single Oz drama ever made. The Box, The Restless Years, Prisoner, Sons & Daughters, H&G, and probably her most memorable role, as Matron Dorothy Conniving Bitch Scott in The Young Doctors.

And it is the latter role that is the subject of today's sermon. For you see, the Ball's MC for the evening, Mark Holden, also used to be in Young Doctors, harking back to the days when he was significantly younger and actually not completely unfortunate-looking as he is now. Anyway, Mark thought it would be the height of hilarity to ask Cornelia to stand up before the seated audience of, oh, say, 500 people, and point out that in the days of 'Doctors', he used to refer to la Frances as 'Horny Corny'.

HC, as mortified as the stunned-silent crowd, managed a rather meek retort of 'nobody has called me that for a VERY long time'. BUT - later, my schmoozing PR boyf took to having a fag with HC outside, and reported back to me the ciggie conversation he'd had in which she essentially posed the question - and using this language - 'what the fuck did that fucking idiot Mark Holden think he was doing?' (*drag*) 'Fucking horny Corny my arse, stupid little fuck' (*drag*)

And so on.

We later saw HC and Mark 'kiss and make-up' - although I think it required all of Corny's acting skills to go along with this grotesque facade. As always, the truth of any social event can always be found at the smokos.



Horny Corny gives her best bedroom eyes.

A night of much fa-faing, rhubarbing and air kisses otherwise made tremendously more enjoyable by this particular cherry. Oh, and Judy Nunn should see Paula Duncan's botoxer, as the latter still looks pretty serviceable while the former now looks more haggard and masculine than her widower Alf Stewart (I think I heard somewhere she's not a well woman, however, so apologies in advance if it's nothing she can help).

I didn't mind doin' it for the kids.

Labels: Cornelia Frances, Homos and Gays, Make a Wish Ball, PR

posted by Sam @ Monday, June 25, 2007