The Adventures of QueerPenguin

God Help Them, They Were Only 9, 10

Haven't had net access at home (long story) and week from hell at work. Also, nothing really going on to boil my potato.

Although, a few thoughts about the Nanna (Nine) and Infant (Ten) stations respectively: Why the hell do people seem to be so offended by Jessica Rowe? Her emaciated frame and dykesque coiff do nothing for me personally but at the same time I don't feel particularly distressed about her existence. For all her shortcomings she has more personality than Karl Stefawhatever, the sports guy, Richard Wilkins and Stevie Jacobs combined.

Also, isn't it a bit of a double-standard for Fast Eddie to get his sensible Holeproof (I imagine) knickers in a knot about Jessica but not also to be wishing to shaft Karl? Why is it blokes on TV can be as dull and lifeless as they want but as soon as a woman is underperforming, she's canned? I get that Nine invested substantially in poaching Jessica from Ten but really, what were they expecting from a news reporter? Their job is predicated on reading out somebody else's work. It's not as though they can imbue a news cast with wacky mother-in-law jokes or their own unique interpretive dance moves. THEY READ AN AUTOCUE!! Perhaps if Nine wanted someone a bit quicker at thinking on her feet or coming up with improvised banter that didn't feel as scripted and useless as a Richard Wilkins film review, they should have not gone to a news room? Or is Australia so bereft of talent that being a news reader also automatically qualifies as a TV "personality"? Perhaps we can start nominating them for Gold Logies now? This might undermine the Logies' credibility, however...

*pffffffttthahahahaha*

*ahem*

Sorry.

And broadly, why is morning TV now considered such a key ratings battlefield? Sure, Sunrise keeps beating Today, but my understanding is that a good morning for Sunrise is to get 400,000 people. Hell, the ABC would get that many people watching the New Inventors! It's not like it's breakfast radio that people actually listen to in the background while they pile the Veg onto their toast. Ten, like most of us, must be wondering what the fuss is all about.

Did someone say Ten (segue segue segue)?

I'm a cynical sort of person, I suppose. When I first heard about the sexual assault controversy my first reaction was not "poor Camilla" or "what degenerate filth! Get the filthy lesbians off the screen and BURN THEM ON THE STAKE!!" (Family First's Steve Fielding's response, even after he was informed this season has no lesbians), it was: "Man, some exec at Ten is ejaculating into his soy decaf. This is gold. This is the Big Thing on Oz Big Brother that happens every year in some form on the UK version but one we've never managed to replicate in Australia, until now. Yay!! (thought the exec, dancing about with a wet patch over his crotch)"

The ratings will soar now. Ten couldn't have hoped for anything more opportune if they didn't secretly whisper into Ashley and John's headpieces to do it themselves (hrm, there's a conspiratorial thought...)

Perhaps feeling unloved at all the media focus on their mean older brother Nine last week, Ten has dropped precisely the right attention-seeking poo on the kitchen rug.

In response, Gretel has formed a reasoned and articulate reply...out of her arse:

"Today, and presumably for the remainder of the week, you may be inundated with exaggerated ill-informed stories in the media which do nothing but perpetuate ignorance and hurt those involved...Ashley and John were fantastic housemates, bringing joy not only to their fellow housemates but to Australia as a whole, and we're very sorry that one foolish incident on their behalf has led to them leaving."

Erm, assuming the accusation is true - that one guy held Camilla down while she was asleep as the other guy dangled his cock in her face - I'm not sure where "exaggeration" or "ill information" comes into it. Sure, they're probably no more or less depraved than most of the BB contestants, but what they've done is pretty sick. It would have been nice of Gretel, as the intelligent woman she is underneath all the Botox, perhaps to make a statement of solidarity. You know, something along the lines of how taking advantage of a woman while she's asleep is not on, how as a woman herself she was appalled by what she saw, that what some men might think is "funny" can actually constitute a form of abuse, etc - not a defence of the men involved and a dismissal of their actions as merely "one foolish incident" from "fantastic housemates".

Guess that's too much to expect. Meh.

posted by Sam @ Monday, July 03, 2006