Thursday, March 31, 2005

Death by DoubleSpeak

Arrrrgh!!! Save me, Don Watson! He who wrote "Death Sentence: The Decay of Public Language" and in one book encapsulated the futility, frustration and eyelid burning-like pain of corporate "communication" - Don, save me from this:

The purpose of PMAT is to promote accountability, high commitment, and contribution consistent with business goals and objectives. That means creating the conditions in which our staff aspire to high standards, agree to pursue the right priorities and are able to contribute positive results in a dependable and resourceful way. PMAT supports the creation of a dialogue between managers and their direct reports in creating performance expectations and evaluations as outlined in the five steps below.

I was asleep by "accountability". All that's missing is the use of "action" and "sunset" as verbs. I'm quite amazed "dialogue" isn't spelt "dialog".

If only having to understand and take this crap seriously wasn't necessary for yearly pay rises...

Maybe I should try the Bart/Homer approach.

"Hello, Mister...Koss. I bad want more money now, me poor. (Ooh, he job do good!)

So job raise me, please, Mister Boss (It's Koss, stupid! No it isn't! Disregard)."


At 31/3/05 1:24 pm, Anonymous AQ said...

Perhaps, as part of their industrial relations reforms, the Howard government will introduce automatic annual CPI salary & wages increases for everyone. (What IS the difference between salary & wages anyway?)

Runs away laughing at his stupid thoughts......


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